


Return From Sophistry

by rawkfemme



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-13
Updated: 2017-06-29
Packaged: 2018-09-08 11:30:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8843029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rawkfemme/pseuds/rawkfemme
Summary: Sophistry: A reason or argument that sounds correct, but is actually false.A Non Sequitur AU with Kathryn Janeway as the one who is lost.





	1. Preface

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter is what would take place before the opening credits. Sort of a teaser/prologue. Pretend the main theme plays at the end.

Kathryn Janeway was having a truly decadent dream. It was the sort of sub-conscious self-indulgence that one almost needed to mourn the loss of upon waking. She'd been treated to images of warmth and comfort, delight and passion; all of which had been in short supply for her.

The dream gave her a glimpse of a side of herself that she'd had to deny; that of Kathryn the Woman, who had been relegated to the background in favor of Janeway the Captain.  It was the type of hazy, soft-focus imagery that one's dreams often were. Kathryn wrapped in soft cotton. Strong hands questing over her stomach. Warm lips gifting light kisses on her neck and collarbone. Gentle fingers teasing her breast as the kisses peppered downwards. 

Her hands threaded through the soft, dark locks of her companion's hair, whose lips had found their purpose at the apex of her thighs.  As Kathryn felt herself being pulled from the dream, she saw her fingertips tracing the outline of ebony peeking out above her hips.  She smiled at the realization of whom her partner was.

Slowly, the images were lost, dissolving like the fog of a warming morning. The illusion of a talented tongue was replaced by the heavy and tangible feel of a warm arm draping across her naked middle. The foreign feeling pulled Kathryn from her reverie with a start. Sitting up quickly, she turned to survey her surroundings.  Unfamiliar walls and furniture, sunlight steaming through breezy curtains instead of a blanket of stars, and gentle birdsong in the distance. As she tried to make sense of the situation, a voice she knew all too well greeted her. 

"Morning, Kath. That sounded like some dream you were having." A sleepy smile lit onto the face of the man lying on his stomach next to her, whose salt and pepper hair was so different from that which was in her mind’s eye mere moments ago.

"That it was Mark. Although," she said turning to look out the window to the beach below the bedroom, "I'm not quite sure I'm awake even yet."


	2. Chapter 2

Kathryn Janeway, Captain of the Federation Starship Voyager tightens the white cotton sheet that covers her naked body, as she sits on a large and very fluffy bed, its quilted comforter and numerous pillows adding to the luxurious feel. Behind her, a wall of windows border the headboard, overlooking a secluded beach. 

“Kath, honey, are you feeling alright?” Kathryn turns to apprise the familiar form next to her. Naked from the waist up, in repose, with the same white sheet covering his hips and legs, Mark Johnson reaches out his hand and begins to stroke her arm. “You look pale. Maybe you should just cancel your meeting.”

“My what?”

“Honey, seriously, are you OK? You’ve been prepping for this for more than a month. Sometimes you even mumble about it in your sleep. Not last night though, that was entirely different.” As Mark leans over and begins kissing Kathryn’s shoulder, his fingers run up and down her bare back. “I’m flattered that you think I’m so talented, but we didn’t even do that last night. And I’m not sure how an emergency transport figures in, but hey, whatever you like.”

Pulling away from his unfamiliar touch, Kathryn grabs the robe at the foot of the bed. She knows it well; light pink and satin. 

“This can’t be happening,” she says as she ties the sash around her waist.

“Relax Kath, you won’t be too late. Why don’t you skip the shower? I’ll call down to the shop and have them get your coffee ready now so you won’t have to wait for it. Of course, if you hadn’t been meddling with the replicator, you could have had your coffee here.”

“No, you don’t understand.” She crosses to the bank of windows to take in the unfamiliar view. The room sits above a wooden deck, its stairs leading down to a golden sand beach. Two Adirondack chairs sit close together, facing the waves. Turning back to Mark, with all the authority she can muster, Kathryn asks, “Where am I? Is this some sort of simulation? My name is Captain Kathryn Janeway, of the Federation...”

“Kathie?” Mark interrupts.

“What’s the stardate?”

“49011.”

“The present. They’re out there somewhere, only not with me.” She says to herself, her hand raising to her cheek in disbelief. 

“Who is? Honey, I... help me understand.” Mark pleads.

“The last thing I remember,” she pauses. The memories were hazy and fading. “I was piloting a shuttlecraft.” Rising from the bed, gravity pulls the sheet from Mark’s waist. Seeing him exposed, Kathryn turns to give him the privacy normally reserved for those one barely knows. Joining behind her at the window, Mark’s hands brush her long and loose hair to the side and start to trace firm circles into her tense muscles. 

“Kath,” he says, dropping kisses on her shoulder, the skin blushing from his massaging touch. “You just woke up too fast. You’re confused. Go get dressed. I’ll let Molly out.” 

Kathryn raises her hand to cover his on her shoulder. Her head drops and she sighs, letting her thumb trace over his knuckles. Could this be true? Could she really be here with him? He’s real. Solid. Warm. In this close proximity she can smell the faint remnants of yesterday’s cologne, and the previous night’s apparent passion. Realizing what Mark has just said, Kathryn turns suddenly to face him, her eyes wide and bright. 

“Molly? My Molly.”

“Hey, I know it took a while for me to warm to up to having a dog, but I like to think of her as our Molly. At least since the wedding.”

“Wedding? How long have we...” Kathryn’s sentence trails off as her eyes scan the bedroom, bathed in morning sun. Both nightstands feature holo-images, framed in delicate silver scrolls. On her side of the bed, Mark in a dapper suit, his hands in his pockets, beaming brightly at the imager. On his side of the bed, Kathryn, resplendent in ivory satin. Her long hair is pulled back in pin-curls and finger waves. She holds a bouquet of orchids and lilies. 

“We did it. We finally did it.” Kathryn says as she crosses to her portrait and lifts it, her fingers tracing over the image of her face; it’s features so familiar, and yet this most sacred event holds no memory, no significance for her. As she returns the image to its spot on the nightstand, she spots another portrait, this one on the wall. White rose petals dance in the air as Kathryn and Mark share a kiss in front of their friends and loved ones; their first married kiss, from the looks of it. At Kathryn’s feet sits the copper mane she loves so dearly, with a sign hanging from her collar that reads ‘Flower Grrrrl.’

“Where is she, Mark?”

“Probably dancing by the back door, if we don’t have a puddle by now. I’ll go let her out. You just get ready.” Mark gives Kathryn a reassuring smile and nods his head towards the bathroom. “I’ll meet you downstairs,” he says as he pulls on a pair of shorts and tee-shirt he finds on the floor near the bed. 

As Kathryn crosses slowly to the bathroom, she hesitates, her hand resting on the doorframe.

“Mark? Do you know anything about Voyager? The starship?” She asks, turning back to the bedroom.

“Not more than you do. I count myself lucky every day that you turned down that job.”

“I did what?”

“Kath, that isn’t funny.” He turns to look at her, all humor gone from his eyes. “A lot of people died. If it hadn’t been for your project, you’d have been one of them. Deanna’s been beside herself for months and Will was one of our closest friends. He only took that job because it was supposed to be short, and he had a personal axe to grind with the Maquis after Thomas...” Mark, pulls his hands through is greying hair and gives a deep sigh. “Look, I’m done with this conversation. Good luck at your meeting. I’ll see you tonight.”

Dumbstruck at the revelation that Will Riker, whom she only knew in passing, had replaced her as Voyagers captain and had seemingly suffered the same outcome that her mission had, Kathryn sits at the foot of the bed, her hand raised to her face.

“What is going on?”


	3. Chapter 3

Dressed in her typical red, black, and grey, Kathryn feels comforted that, in whatever universe this is, at least she’s still in Starfleet, even if the pips at her neck indicate that she’s still at the rank of Commander.  No _Voyager_ – no promotion.  Stepping outside of the house and onto the street, Kathryn isn’t sure which way to turn.  She knows northern California well after spending so many years in at the academy and so many hours at HQ, but this is a quiet residential street.  The large, older houses are widely spaced, lending a feeling of luxury and privacy to the beach-front properties.

Looking down the street, she sees a sign post, pointing her towards the nearest transport station. ‘At least that’s someplace to start,’ Kathryn says to herself. As she passes the neighboring houses and turns a corner into a charming commercial district to follow the signs, she hears a voice calling out behind her.

“Commander Johnson. Oh, Commander Johnson!  Commander Katie! Your coffee, Ma’am!”

Recognizing that the voice is beckoning her, Kathryn turns on her heel as a stocky, balding man in an apron and brown vest has to stop short to avoid colliding with her. As he beams a friendly smile, the stranger presses a warm cup into Kathryn’s hands.

“Here you are Commander.  Your husband ordered it for you. Kona blend. Black. Extra hot.”

“Thank you.  I...”  Kathryn isn’t sure how to finish the thought has she looks at the beverage in her hand.

“So, today’s the big day, huh?”

“I’m sorry?”

“You know, the meeting.”  Kathryn’s confusion must have been apparent, because the man continued. “The new, umm, thrusters, I think it was. Dynamo...dynamite...ah, yes! Dynamic Nanowave Thrusters. Someday, when you’re famous for these new thrusters, you give me the prettiest part, and I’ll put it next to the cappuccino machine in a place of honor. I’ll tell everyone that Kathryn Johnson designed this. She came into my shop almost every morning.”

She was designing thrusters? She was a scientist at heart, not an engineer.  Nanowaves she knew inside and out, but applying them to a mechanical distribution system, why, it had never been done before.  Kathryn realized that she was staring coldly at the kindly gentleman. As she unwrinkled her brow, she realized that, besides the coffee, he’d supplied her with a clue to who she was in this universe.  This timeline?  Who knew?  Maybe he’d be able to give her some additional insight.

“This is going to sound strange,” Kathryn began, “but how long would you say it’s been, that I’ve been coming here almost every morning.”

“Hmm, well, Dr. Johnson and you started coming here you bought the new house, right after the honeymoon.  I’d say eight months or so.”

“Eight months?” The same amount of time she’d been on _Voyager_.  “And I’m here almost every morning?”

“Well, mostly on the mornings your replicator is ‘on the blink’.” The man guffawed a bit at Kathryn’s expense.  Apparently her replicator issues were well known, no matter the universe.

“I can’t say that I’ve ever had a morning like this one.”  Remembering the cup in her hand, Kathryn raised it, closed her eyes, and let the heady aroma delight her. There truly was nothing quite like real, freshly ground coffee.  This had to be one impressive simulation to get this right.  Taking a sip, she let a smile and a sigh escape. This was one of the many things she had been missing. Opening her eyes, she spotted a young man in engineering gold bounding towards her.

“Hey, Kathryn, are you ready to go? Our meeting starts in an hour.”

Exchanging a glance with the man from the coffee shop, she nodded. ‘Best to let this play out and see what else I can discover,’ Kathryn thought to herself.

“It’s now or never. Lead on.” 


	4. Chapter 4

The engineer whom Kathryn has been following had led her to the 7th floor of the main administration tower at Starfleet Headquarters.  She found herself shuttled into a non-descript conference room, and standing at one end of a long table with a row of empty high-backed executive chairs facing her. Few words were spoken between Kathryn and the man in yellow standing to her right in their hurry to be on time, and as she parts her lips to ask how exactly this whole thing is supposed to go, the door of the room flies open and several admirals set upon them. Opening his portable interface, Kathryn’s partner leans over and whispers to her.

“Ok, download the equation.”

“The what?  I’m sorry, I...” comes her whispered reply.

“The nanowave distribution equation.  You did bring it, right?”  A confused shake of her head is the only response Kathryn can muster.  “Well, we'll just have to improvise.”

The door then glides open and another decorated admiral enters the room and takes his seat at the center of the commanding row. 

“Good morning,” the admiral begins. “I have a meeting at eleven hundred hours with the head of Starfleet Security. She doesn't like to be kept waiting. Let's get this underway. Commander Lasca?”

“Thank you Admiral,” Kathryn’s partner, whom she now knows the name of, states as he crosses to the display screen at the back of the room.  “Ladies and Gentlemen, you are looking at the model 47F2301 Nanovave Integrated Thruster system, the first of its type.  The 47F will out maneuver and out preform any other sub-warp movement system currently available.”

“Yes, Lieutenant,” the admiral interjects.  “I've looked over your specifications. It's an interesting design. But how do you propose to address distribution problem?  Nanowaves tend to interrupt the isolinear magnetism of the thruster assembly.”

“I'm actually glad you asked that question, Sir,” Lasca continues. “We've been working on the problem for several weeks, and I think you'll see that we have found an answer. I'd like to introduce you to the scientist who designed the distribution equation.  Commander Kathryn Johnson.  Kathryn?”

As the many sets of eyes turn to her, Kathryn feels like she’s living out some sort of waking nightmare.  It’s a classic that has gripped academics for years – to be unprepared for a major test. Her cheeks fill with a heated blush, and she uncharacteristically has no idea what to say or how to move the meeting forward. Her hesitation must be clear to the assemblage, because before she can open her mouth to stammer out an explanation, the admiral at the center seat speaks.

“Is there a problem, Commander?”

“Actually, sir, there is.” Perhaps Kathryn can use the resources of those around her to figure out why she’s in this reality, if she can get them to believe her situation.

“Come on, Kathryn. Pull it together. We've been waiting for this for six months,” Lasca pleads with her.  Looking around the room, she sees nothing but impatience in the faces of the admiralty and fear in the face of her partner. This may not be the right audience for the tale of her day.

“Commander Johnson, are you ill?”

“Actually, yes. I’m not feeling quite like myself.  If it’s alright, I’d like to postpone this until another time.”  While she was relieved to have found a tactful way out, the droop of Lasca’s shoulders told her that he’s probably have a hard time forgiving her.  That was acceptable. She didn’t plan on being in this reality that much longer anyways.

“I’m leaving for a three week tour of the Cardassian border in a few days. It will have to wait until after then.” The admiral stated as he rose from his chair.  As he exited the conference room, the other assembled brass joined him, followed lastly by Lasca.

“Kathryn, you’d better be dying.”

After the aborted meeting, Kathryn was able to locate the office that she was sure to have as an HQ-stationed researcher.  As the doors opened automatically upon her approach, she knew she was in the right place. The room she entered was smaller than her ready room on _Voyager_ , with pale green paneled walls, and a massive workstation in the center.  While the figures that faced her on the workstation’s display were not immediately discernable, it was clear that she was working on advanced analytics and complex theories. Looking over the algorithms, equations, and processes, all she could think to herself was ‘it looks like I’ve still got it.’

Kathryn crossed to the desk at the opposite side of the room, and sat in front of the computer terminal.  A framed image of her, Mark, and Molly in front of a giant sequoia tree stood just to her right. She gazed at it wistfully for a second.  That walk was one of the last they’d taken before she’d left with _Voyager_. They’d had a disagreement later that day, after she’d shut herself in her office reading mission objectives and Maquis profiles for hours.  It was part of the job, but she’d never been able to convince Mark of that.  Turning back to face the computer, Kathryn called for her service record.

“First Starship posting,” she read, “the _Al-Batani_ as Chief Science Officer. Change of track from Sciences to Command after completion of supplemental coursework.  Promoted to Commander aboard the USS _Billings_. Offered promotion to Captain, USS _Voyager_.  Promotion declined.  Requested transfer to Starfleet Science Corps. Transfer approved. Particle Theory Specialist.  Awarded the Cochrane Medal of Excellence for outstanding advances in element integration.”  Her history had started off correctly, but clearly deviated from the truth as she knew it.

“Computer, have there been any temporal variances in the last 48 hours?  Any unexplained anomalies that may have affected the space-time continuum?”

“Negative. No such anomalies have been reported.”

“Computer, what was the last contact that Starfleet had with USS _Voyager_?  Has there been any since the ship was lost in the badlands?”

“Information on USS _Voyager_ is classified. Security clearance level ten or above is required to access files.” Luckily, Kathryn knew the executive level clearance codes needed.  After all, it was her ship. After typing the code in, the computer confirm that her clearance was accepted.

“Last recorded contact with USS _Voyager_ prior to its disappearance was on stardate 48307.5.” chimed the computer.  That was the date Kathryn had anticipated.  Her last check-in with command.  Everything seemed to be the same in this reality as her own, except her.

“Computer, please confirm the identity of the Captain of USS _Voyager_.”

“Captain William T. Riker.”  Mark had been right.  Riker had taken the _Voyager_ promotion after she turned it down.  Somehow, somewhere out there, was her ship, her crew, her responsibility, only someone else was doomed to be in charge.


	5. Chapter 5

Kathryn stepped off of the transport pad at her neighborhood station. At least she’d had the presence of mind to notice the station’s name as she was being bustled off this morning. Walking up the same street that she had come down that morning, she could feel a headache creeping in.  Her frustrating and unfamiliar day had required more caffeine than she’d been able to consume.

“Commander Katie!  Back so soon?” The coffee shop owner from this morning greeted her as he wiped down a table on the patio. Slinging the towel over his shoulder, he grabbed a white porcelain mug and carafe from the service station.  “You look like you could use this.  Let Cosimo treat you to this one.”  Taking the empty mug from his hand, Kathryn breathed in the heady aroma as he poured the coffee. 

“Meeting didn’t go so well, eh?”  Her shoulders drooping, Kathryn shook her head and took a sip. The coffee was the perfect temperature and the prefect blend, but not even it could raise her spirits.

“That may be putting it lightly.  Right now, all I want is a hot bath.” Kathryn looked up the street towards the row of houses and took another sip.  The coffee caught in her throat at the realization that she had no idea which house was hers.  Swallowing hard, she had an idea. “So, what do you think of the way the new plants are coming in at my place?”

Cosimo turned to look up the street, admiring the row of neatly manicured yards.  “Ahhh, yes. You and your husband have truly made that house a home.  The beautiful vine on the trellis reminds me of where I grew up. Its pink flowers show that it is a house full of love.”

Looking at the houses, Kathryn quickly spots hers.  It’s the only one with a blooming pink clematis climbing up a trellis just to the side of the front door.  The whole yard looks painstakingly thought out, and lovingly planted. It’s a beautiful home.  Only, it’s not her home.  Her brow furrows as she reminds herself that this is not her world. Turning back to Cosimo, she thanks him for the coffee and after handing him the mug, continues her walk to the house. She doesn’t get two steps away when she feels a hand on her arm.

“Katie, don’t look so concerned. Everything’s going to work out. You have a wonderful job, a loving husband.  Everything’s going to be fine.  Trust me, hmmm?”

Kathryn turns to face Cosimo, and sees his kind eyes are full of reassurance. His words urge her to accept her life here at face value.  And after all, isn’t it everything she wants?  Or at least wanted? What she wanted before she was pulled away.  Before she had to grieve the loss of her dreams and her love.  Before she met... She doesn’t let herself finish the thought, banishing the vision of her first officer from her mind’s eye. Patting the hand on her arm, she gives him a nod and finishes her walk home.

As the front door glides shut behind her, Mark steps into the living room. Kathryn didn’t expect him to be home, but she can’t say she’s surprised. There is so much she doesn’t know about her life here. 

“Honey, are you okay?  Why are you home so early?” Mark asks, crossing to her to kiss her forehead.

“I’m fine. It was just a rough day.”

 “Why don’t you head upstairs and enjoy that huge tub you insisted on having installed?” His hands start to knead her shoulders.  Their strength feels foreign and unfamiliar to Kathryn and she shrugs away his touch.

“Yes, that sounds nice.”  Once she’s cleared her mind and banished the last of her headache, she’ll be better able to process the day’s events and start figure out how she got here, wherever _here_ is.

“You know,” Mark says, wrapping his arms around her waist, “I’m at a stopping point on the manuscript. I could take a few minutes and join you.” His words are whispered softly into her ear, causing the soft tendrils of her hair to tickle her cheek.  There can be no second guessing his meaning.

Extracting herself from his gentle embrace, Kathryn declines his offer, claiming that she’s too likely to drift off after her rough night’s sleep.  In truth, she’s beginning to accept the fact that in her world, she has left this man behind. This man, who had gotten down on one knee and offered to share his life with her.  This man, whom she had been a few months away from vowing to love, honor, and cherish. This man, who did not deserve to have the woman he loves shrink away from his touch.

Kathryn strips off her the black and red of her uniform as the warm water pours into the oversized tub.  Her fingers move to the neck of her undershirt, plucking off her pips.  As she searches in vain for the fourth gold disc, she laughs to herself, remembering that in this reality, it isn’t there.  “Same rank as Chakotay.” She thinks to herself.  She rolls her eyes and brings a hand to rub her forehead.  “How many times have I wished I wasn’t his commanding officer?”

Shedding the last of her garments, Kathryn slips into the steaming water.  Gently, it laps at her skin, sending ripples of sensation through her body as it warms her. Closing her eyes, her thoughts remain with Chakotay. She thinks back to when she was first assigned the mission to capture his ship, and what was contained in his dossier. It was difficult even then for her to not admire him. In leaving Starfleet and joining the Maquis he’d stood up for his home world and the victims of that heinous attack.  When he’d first beamed onto her ship, he seemed to radiate sheer determination and an almost vicious strength.

As they worked closely together, she learned that not only was he utterly loyal and protective, but that he could be silly, and kind, and quiet. They’d shared laughs, and meals, and jokes, and she’d told him more about her life that she’d normally tell a subordinate.  He responded in kind, showing her more about himself that she’d ever expected him to.  Her mind flashed to their recent encounter with the space dwelling lifeform that had mistaken Voyager for one of its own kind. She remembered her quip about asking his advice on mating behavior, which had probably crossed a line, but was indicative of the type of relationship they were building.

She hadn’t really been conscious of it, but as she lay in the heated water, lost in thought, her hands had been grazing slowly up her thighs and across her stomach. As she thought of Chakotay’s dimpled smile, the tips of her fingers danced across her breasts. Her thighs reflexively pressed together at the sensation.  Her head rolled to the side and her back arched slightly at the thought of the commander’s strong shoulders barred to her as he’d once recovered in sick bay.  One hand quested back over her hips, to the apex of her thighs.  Her fingers dipped lower, spreading her gathering moisture as she remembered Chakotay’s strength, carried so well in his admirably shaped arms and legs.  She thought of his hands and she flicked and tapped, and wished his fingers were there instead of her own. She craved for it to be his warmth covering her, and not her lonely bath. As she pictured her full lips and striking jawline, the pace of her fingers quickened.  She could feel her hips start to rock and her muscles pulse as she neared her peak.

“Kath?” Mark called from the other side of the door.  “Are you okay?  You were moaning like when you had food poisoning.”

Whipping herself in to an upright position, Kathryn sent a wave of water onto the floor.  Sputtering with surprise, she replied “I’m fine.  I...I dozed off. It must have been a snore.”

“Okay.  Don’t get too pruny.” Mark called as he left her in peace.

Sinking back into the water, Kathryn knew that she didn’t belong here. She couldn’t continue to live this life, lying to this kind, loving man, while her ship was out there. _Voyager_ was her responsibility, and its crew, all of them, were her family.

Hours later, the inky black of night was dissolving into the brilliant amber of dawn. Sleep had been fleeting for Kathryn, as she lay next to her supposed husband. Her imagination swam with possibilities and scenarios for how it was that she came to be in this reality. Finally, her restless mind compelled her body to action.  Creeping barefoot across the house, she found an office, its only desk equipped with a standard issue Starfleet computer terminal. Pulling up _Voyager’s_ mission log, she quickly noticed that something was amiss.  In this reality, the captain of Chakotay’s ship, the _Liberty_ , wasn’t Chakotay – it was B’Elanna Torres.  Kathryn had to read it twice to confirm. Somehow, here, the woman who was her chief engineer on _Voyager_ had supplanted her first officer as captain. So then where was Chakotay?  She pulled up the penal system inmate listings. He wasn’t there.  As much of a relief as that was, she knew she had to find him somewhere. Chakotay had spent time in the southwest, and she knew he had a cousin in Ohio.  It shouldn’t be too hard to track him.  His Starfleet profile still listed him as a member of the Maquis, so he was still on their radar.  As she began examining listings and locations, hunting for any sign of him, she heard a cough at the door.

“Sweetie, it’s four in the morning. What are you doing?”

“I...I thought I’d catch up on some work since I left early yesterday.” Kathryn continued to click through the list on her screen.

“You never were any good at standing still.  Until it was too late, that is.”

“I’m sorry?” She had only been listening to Mark with half an ear, as the location information on her screen had caught her full attention.  But she got the distinct impression that he was annoyed with her.

“That’s just how it’s always been. Ever since we were just kids.” Mark continued.

“Mark, I’m not sure what it is you’re getting at.  Is this your desk?  Would you like me to work from the kitchen?”

“Kath,” Mark’s voice was low as he crossed to her and knelt next to her chair. “I know the meeting didn’t go well, and that you feel the need to compensate, but believe me when I say that I see this as the first step of you slipping into some old habits.”

Kathryn knew what he was referring to.  When her father and her first fiancé had died she poured herself into her work.  She kept an almost manic pace until her mind and body went into revolt, sending her to her bed for far longer than could be considered a healthy grieving period. She’d had to work hard with the help of those who loved her – Mark included – to pull herself out of that depressive state.  Now he was scared that she was letting herself be pulled back in; that a seemingly major career setback was going to return her to that dark place.

“Mark, it’s not what you think.  I’m not supposed to be here.”

“What am I supposed to think?  Are you regretting passing on the promotion?  On staying here on Earth with me?”

“No,” she lied, taking his hands in hers.  I’m not sure how to explain this. I’m not part of this reality.  Two nights ago, I fell asleep in my quarters on _Voyager_. Yesterday morning I woke up here.  I have to find a way to get back.”

“Kath, I’m really not following this analogy.”

“It’s not an analogy.  It’s the truth.  I need you to trust me.”

“I do. You know that.  I just feel...”

“What?  What do you _feel_ , Mark?” Kathryn sniped at him.  She was starting to lose patience.  For an intellectual man, he could be quite dense.

“I feel like this is you begging for the stars. I’m losing you to them, again. You’re creating a delusion that brings you back into space.” Mark stood and ran his hands through his grey hair.  “I’ve accepted that I was never your first love.  I wasn’t even your second.  The ‘fleet and the stars had you way before I ever did. And now, you’re saying whatever you can to get back to them.”  He swiftly crossed back to her, knelt and gripped her knees.  “Let me help you.”

Moving his hand from her knees, she quietly replied.  “I don’t need _your_ help, Mark.  I don’t see why you can’t believe me.  With all of the crazy things we’ve encountered...” She stopped herself and remembered that she hasn’t experienced any of the space-folding, alien-spawning, time-bending occurrences that she has. His life on Earth has sheltered him from that. In fact, he hasn’t been a part of her life for a very long time now.  But someone else has. 

“I have to go.” Kathryn says, rising from the desk chair and walking briskly to their bedroom. She opens the closet and selects an outfit.

“Where, exactly? I have a right to know where my wife is running off to.”

“I have to go somewhere.  Somewhere to someone who may be able to help me.”  Her voice is muffled by fabric as she pulls off her night dress and replaces it with a tunic.

“Dammit, Kathryn! Where?”

“Cleveland.”


	6. Chapter 6

He hadn’t been hard to find. There weren't too many places for a brooding former terrorist with a penchant for fisticuffs to hide in the dazzling example of Federation splendor that his cousin called home.  The greater Cleveland metro area was home to only one boxing club.   It was a clean, modern gym; very unlike the dank and dusty hole he’d programmed into  _ Voyager’s  _ holodeck. He probably hated this place. 

Checking in with the Nausicaan at the front desk, Kathryn was directed to a room at the back of the facility. The door wouldn't open at her approach, so she settled for peering through the observation window.  Chakotay was there, stripped to the waist, wearing black satin shorts and his hands covered by thick red gloves  He was pounding gracefully on a heavy bag suspended in the middle of the small room. Kathryn’s breath caught in her throat at seeing his familiar form. Since waking up in this reality, she had felt almost desperately alone, but being so near him now was comforting.

Sweat dripped from his brow as he jabbed and crossed. His thick arms and broad back were slicked with moisture and his biceps and triceps were primed and pumped. Chakotay threw punch after punch at the bag, dancing gracefully around it on agile feet. After a few minutes a bell rang and the heavy bag rose up and out of his reach.  Kathryn could hear him cry a frustrated oath as he continued to punch at the vacant air in front of him. Embittered and exhausted, he bent over; his gloved hands braced on his knees, his back arching with his heavy breath, and his sweat dripping onto the floor.  After a moment he rose and began to tear at the laces of his gloves with his teeth. Once they were off, he tossed them into his gym bag and pulled on his shirt. Exiting the room, he blew past Kathryn and headed towards the front desk. 

“You can’t possibly convince me that was a full hour. Your timer is rigged.” Chakotay spat at the attendant.  

The hulking Nausicaan stood up from his chair, and crossed his arms, displaying biceps broader than Kathryn’s waist. Chakotay huffed in response and entered his name on the registration terminal for the same time slot the next day. Kathryn had been keeping a discreet distance, standing near a large rack of white towels.  Grabbing one, she darted to reach Chakotay as he turned away from the desk.

“You look like you could use this.” She said, tossing him the towel as he passed her.

Grabbing the towel as it hit his chest, Chakotay’s eyes went to Kathryn. He looked her up and down, appraising her. The heat in his look was undeniable and Kathryn could feel color rise in her cheeks. The corner of Chakotay’s mouth rose to halfway between a grin and a grimace as he wiped his face with the towel. 

“Thanks, but I’m not interested.” He responded flinging the towel into a nearby bin and walking out the door.

Slightly stunned at his cavalier response, Kathryn paused, but was on his heels in no time.

“Interested in what?  I didn’t offer you anything.”She called after him as she walked briskly behind him down the street.

“You didn’t have to offer, I know the type. You get off on big guys like me. What, do we make you feel even more petite or something?  I saw you watching me. You weren’t exactly subtle.”

“No, that’s not why I’m here.” Kathryn was getting really fed up with men in this reality misinterpreting her. “I need your help.”

“Sweetheart, whatever it is that you need, I can’t provide it.”

Quickening her pace, Kathryn stepped in front of him.

“It's about B'Elanna.”  Now she had his attention.  Chakotay stopped walking and looked her straight in the eye, his large body towering over her.. His steely gaze causing the hairs on the back of her neck to rise. “B’Elanna, Ayala, Chell.  All of your crew.  And mine.”

“Are you…” Chakotay’s eyes shifted around the street, trying to see if anyone was overhearing them.

“No, I’m not Maquis.”

“Then you’re Starfleet.  I don’t want anything to do with Starfleet.” He pushed past her and continued down the street. 

“My name is Captain Kathryn Janeway,” she started, as she darted back in front of him, trying unsuccessfully to block his path. “Captain of the USS  _ Voyager _ . We were sent to capture your ship, the  _ Liberty _ , only neither of us are where we are supposed to be.”

“My ship...my, her crew...they’re long gone. And I wish every day that I was gone with them.”

“So why aren’t you?”

Chakotay’s head dropped and he stopped walking.

“Oldest story ever written,  A pretty little redhead chased after me, and I couldn’t keep it in my pants. That bitch led a mutiny while I was too deep inside her to notice much of anything.  Got me kicked off of my own ship. They headed to the badlands and before I could get a shuttle to chase them, they were gone.”

Seska.  The redhead had to be her. He didn’t know the truth about her in this reality.

“Chakotay,” she said his name quietly, crossing close to him and placing one hand on his chest. His heart was beating; fast and resonant.  “That wasn’t your fault. Seska wasn’t who she claimed to be. She had us all fooled.”  Chakotay's eyes darkened with confusion. 

“We are partners, you and I, in my reality.  Captain and First Officer. Now we’re both here and both miserable, not living the lives we are supposed to. Come with me. I need to figure out what happened, maybe run a simulation. You’re one of the best tacticians I’ve ever seen.  The last thing I remember…”

Under her palm, she could feel the beating of his heart slow and grow steadier.  Chakotay gripped the hand that was still on his chest and tossed it aside.

“I don’t know who you think you are, Lady, but I’m done following beautiful women wherever they lead me, especially if takes me anywhere near Starfleet.”

Turning on his heel, Chakotay darted into a nearby transport station and a shimmer of blue light pulled him away.

  
  
  


When Kathryn returned home, Mark was not alone.  Sitting on the couch was Lieutenant Lasca, whom her alternate self been working with on the nano-wave thruster project,, and two other gold-shouldered members of Starfleet’s finest. The phasers on their hips showed that they were clearly not engineers.  Kathryn felt her already frustrating day about to take a defeating turn. As she moved from the front door to deeper into the room, Mark rose from his chair. 

“Kath, the lieutenants here want to talk to you.” Mark crossed to her and placed his hand on her upper arm. Kathryn wasn't sure if the gesture was meant to comfort her, or restrain her.

“I outrank them.” Kathryn stated with all the authority she could muster.

“Yes, Sir,” stated one of the lieutenants, rising from the couch “except as provisioned in section 125.13F of the Internal Security Doctrine, granting personnel assigned as investigators full…”

“...full authority to question, scrutinize, and detain within reason...yes yes yes, I’m aware.” Kathryn had no patience for the reading of the entire statute.  As she and Mark crossed the room, Lasca and the other lieutenant rose as well.  

“Kathryn, Starfleet knows what you’ve been doing.” Lasca begins.  

“Oh really? And what have I been doing, precisely?”

“Breaking into classified files.  Using forged security access codes.”

“I haven't forged anything. I can explain.”

“That’s what we’re hoping. Admiral Adamson wants to ask you a few questions, at headquarters.”

“Kath, I think it’s best that you go with them.” Mark pled.  “Just tell them what you told me.  Maybe they’ll be able to help you.”

Kathryn had a feeling that Mark didn't only mean help investigating why she was in this reality.  She knew how her behavior must have looked to him, and it saddened her that’s she’s caused him concern, but if she could just figure out what was going on, maybe she’d be able to put it all right. Getting more information was her chief concern. 

“Well then, Gentlemen, shall we?”

  
  
  


Kathryn was marched into a cramped and sterile conference room at HQ.  Bright lights and hard chairs lent to its air of discomfort.  Admiral Adamson across from her, joined by Lieutenant Lasca and flanked by the two security officers.

“You claim to have  _ Voyager’s  _ security protocols because you were its captain.” Admiral Adamson asked sternly.

“Am.  Yes, I am  _ Voyager’s  _ captain.”

“Captain of a ship that is currently lost, as you claim, in the Delta Quadrant?”

“That is correct.”

“And Captain Riker has taken your place on that ship?”

“In this reality, yes.”

“Because, as you claim, reality has somehow been changed.  But you don't have any evidence to support this.”

“Kathryn, I do believe that you think that you’re telling the truth, but we have to look at this from every angle.” Lasca’s voice was low and quiet as he spoke.  It was probably meant to sound comforting, but it resonated more as a threat. 

“So you think I’m delusional as well?  Or has Mark convinced you that I’m at my wit’s end?”

“He’s just worried about you.  We all are.” Lasca moved his hand across the table to take hers, but Kathryn pulled away from his touch. No matter the true intent of the gesture, she didn’t need this stranger’s comfort.

While Lasca was talking, an ensign had entered and handed a padd to the Admiral, who studied it as a tense stillness settled over the room.  Grimacing, he set down the padd and lifted his haggard eyes to Kathryn. 

“Commander Johnson, why did you travel to Cleveland, Ohio this morning?”

Kathryn should have known that they’d find out.  Even with dressing in civilian clothes and only using public transport, their intel still discovered that she’d been to see Chakotay. 

“I was visiting a friend.”

“You have poor taste in friends.  The former commander - Chakotay - is a traitor and a terrorist.  What did you talk to him about?”   


“In my reality, he’s Voyager’s first officer. Only he has no memory of that here, unlike me.  There must be some way to pull all of this right.  I wanted his help to test some scenarios, find a temporal anomaly, something.  He’s a gifted tactical analyst.”  Kathryn looked back and forth between the men seated across from her. Their eyes were cold and their faces unexpressive.  “You think I’m a Maquis spy.”

“We’re here to find the truth, Commander.” the Admiral stated.

“With all due respect, I won’t be answering any further questions until I receive legal counsel.”

“As you wish, but until we can get to the bottom of all this we will be monitoring your movement. No off-world travel, and tampering with the device will alert security, who will arrest you and charges will be filed.  Do you understand?”

“Yes, Sir.” and with that, a security office entered and placed a tracking beacon tightly around Kathryn’s slim ankle. As Lasca and Adamson rose and moved to leave, Lasca faced his former design partner once again.

“Kathryn, you have to understand how this looks. You’ve broken into secure files, consorted with a known member of the Maquis, and claim to be from another reality.  Something just doesn’t add up, and the facts look pretty bad.”  After he placed a gentle squeeze on her arm, he left, and Kathryn was alone again.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Much of the dialog is pulled from the episode. Please don't yell at me for plagiarism.

It had become all too familiar for Kathryn to be walking through her unfamiliar neighborhood after a confusing and frustrating visit to HQ.  They had let her leave on her own recognizance, as they had no firm evidence that she’d broken any laws. Kathryn’s motivation to find a way back to  _ Voyager _ was high, but without being able to access Starfleet records while keeping herself off their radar, she wasn’t quite sure how to begin.  

Crossing in front of his shop, Kathryn heard Cosimo’s familiar voice call out to her.

“Troubles, Katie?”

“Trouble seems to be my normal.”

Taking her by the elbow, he guided Kathryn to a nearby table.  

“Let’s have some coffee.” His face, normally so full of joviality and reassurance was more grim that she’s seen it before.  He grabbed two mugs and a pot of coffee, the poured them each a helping and sat next to Kathryn.  “I was sent to watch you,” Cosimo continues, “to make sure that you were alright. But now it’s clear that you’re not.”

Kathryn’s eyes narrowed.  As relieved as she was to receive more information about her situation, having an alien species involved added another layer to the mystery. 

“Who are you?”

“We exist in what you would call a temporal inversion fold in the space-time matrix. It's not necessary to understand. It only matters that there was an accident. Your shuttle intersected one of our time streams, and boom! A few things were altered as the result of the accident. History and events were scrambled a bit, and you ended up here.”

“You’ve got to help me get back to  _ Voyager _ .  I belong with my crew.” 

“We don’t know how.”

“What?” Kathryn’s heart sank to her toes.  Her hope and optimism started to slip away.

“We only know that an accident occurred. We don't know how or why.”

“There has to be something that I can do.  This...this time stream.  Do you know where it is?”

“The time stream weaves through the galaxy like a thread. I could show you how to find it, and you could try to recreate the conditions that existed before the accident, and fly back into it, but there's no guarantee what will happen to you if you do.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you may be able to change reality again, but there's no way to predict how it would change. You could end up at any point in the space-time continuum. You might return to your original reality, or you might find yourself a billion years in the future. Or at some time before sentient life even existed on your planet.”

“It’s a risk I have to take.  I think I can recreate what happened.  In part of  my dream the night I awoke here, I was on one of Voyager’s shuttlecraft. It’s too clear to be only a dream.  And after that my dream...changed.  Surely that’s when I intercepted the time stream.”

“Are you so sure? This is a pretty good place for you, Katie. You have a wonderful job with Starfleet, a husband who loves you. Why be so quick to turn your back on all this? Maybe this is your, er, fate. Isn't that the word your people use? That thing which was meant to be? Hmm? Seems to me you're actually a very lucky woman.”

“Is will Riker lucky?  Trapped in the Delta Quadrant?  Is Chakotay lucky?  Angry and abandoned?  Haunted by loss and failure?  No. I have to set this right.  I have to try.” 

“Very well.”  He reached into the pocket of his apron and handed the contents to Kathryn; a data chip.  “This contains all the information we have about the time stream.  It should tell you where it is.  Good luck Katie.  Unless, you decide not to go, in which case I’ll see you tomorrow morning.  Kona blend, no milk, no sugar.”

Taking the chip, Kathryn could feel her optimism returning.  If she was half the scientist that this reality claimed she was, surely she could recreate the events of the accident and hitch a ride back home on the time stream.  Back to  _ Voyager _ .  

  
  
  
  


Moments later, Kathryn was seated at the edge of the couch in the living room of Mark’s house.  She hadn’t been able to think of it as her home, or their home. Soon it wouldn’t matter. Using a micro-spanner, she’d almost been able to adjust the modulation of the tracking frequency of the device on her ankle when Mark entered the room.

“Honey?  I didn’t hear you come in.”

Sighing, Kathryn raised her gaze to his. She had been hoping to remove the anklet with the use of her standard issue tools and get out of the house before he’d notice that she had been there. So many years with Mark made her realize that there would be little she could do to bring him to understand what she had to do. Skipping the confrontation seemed cleaner. 

 

“What are you doing?” Mark continued, his eyes widening at the realization of her activity.  “Do you have any idea how much trouble you’ll be in if security finds out?”

“They’ll probably demote me, or maybe even drum me out of the service entirely.  I’ll be lucky if I stay out of the brig.  But I don’t intend to be here for any of that.”

“Kath, look at yourself.” Mark knelt down and gripped Kathryn’s busy hands in his.  “I know you’re feeling overwhelmed and frightened, but you can’t see the forest for the trees. I can, and Honey, you’re scaring me.”  His eyes were wide and sparkling, and they gave Kathryn pause.  He loved her.  He always had. He’d seen her at her lowest, and now he was scared that she was headed there again.  Except that she wasn’t the woman that he fell in love with.  Not anymore.  She wasn’t the one who walked down the aisle and pledged all the right things to him.  She didn’t spend countless hours at open houses and pouring over home decor padds with him.  She didn’t drag him from garden shop to garden shop to find the perfect perennials for their yard.  She isn’t his Kathryn.  Maybe she could have been, but not anymore.  Not after being pulled away and experiencing all that she had.  And now, she had to get back.  Her crew was waiting for her.  Her life, her home, her...first officer.

“Mark, I can’t ask you to understand, just to trust me.”

“I want to Kath.  It’s just hard to see the woman you love realize that she can’t be with you anymore.”

“I know.  But I need you to believe me.  I’m not your Kathryn.  I don’t know this house, or this neighborhood, or my job, or anything about the time we’ve spent as husband and wife.  But there is one thing here I do know.”  She raised her hand to his jaw and could feel it clench and grind under her touch.  “It’s you.”  

A sudden realization hit her.  There was someone else she needed to see.  “Where’s Molly?”

“Molly?  She’s in the dog run in the side yard.”

Kathryn stood up from the couch and headed out the back door.  Molly’s copper coat looked almost gold in the later afternoon sun.  As Kathryn strode over to the dog, she was met with a sudden pang of regret.  Seeing Molly reminded her of her mother’s farm in Indiana.  Kathryn’s heart ached as she thought of the missed opportunity to see her mother and sister.  But the thought of losing them all over again was too much to bear.

Opening the gate to the dog run, Katheryn knelt to greet Molly, who responded in kind, gifting her with slobbering kisses.  Pressing her cheek to the dog’s soft fur, Kathryn turned to look up at Mark, who had followed her into the yard.

“I don’t have long.” Kathryn said, rising from Molly’s side.  “Once I take the anklet off, starfleet security will beam right in.”

“You’ve got to do what you feel is right.  You always have.”

Pulling Mark into her arms, Kathryn pressed a kiss onto his cheek.

“I’m so sorry to have put you through this.  Maybe if I get back to my reality, your Kathryn will reappear in this one.”

“I’m not sure that’s how this works.” He breathed the words into her hair, holding her closely.  

“Me neither.”  Kathryn agrees, nodding into his neck.  She had cared so deeply for this man.  They’d known each other since they were children and had grown so much together over the years.  Now this little voyage had taught her that she’d grown beyond him.  But extracting herself from his warm and comfortable embrace was still difficult. 

Bending down, Kathryn pushed a series of buttons, the last actions needed to free her from the anklet.  After it released, she lifted it and pitched it over the back fence and onto the beach.  Turning back to Mark, she smiled and bid him, 

“Goodbye.”

In an instant, twin blue glimmers appeared near where Kathryn’s anklet fell.  Seeing it alone in the sand, the two security officers who had beamed in looked up and saw her hear the house.  Kathryn darted past the dog run and through the side yard towards the front of the house. Mark took off in the other direction and closed the gate between the beach and the yard before security could get there.  The fence was too high to jump, so they dashed across the beach and between the houses, which gave Kathryn a substantial head start. 

Kathryn raced through her neighborhood shopping district towards the transporter station. If she could just get there before the guards, she would be harder to track. In a fight she’d no challenge for two armed guards, particularly as Starfleet had confiscated her phaser.  As she turned the corner, she was accosted by rows and rows of empty chairs, all facing a large empty bandshell.  Signs heralding a weekly public concert series explain the obstruction.  Kathryn tried to pick her way past the chairs and gathering crowd of concert-goers, but the guards were gaining on her. She was just feet away from the station when she felt a hand grip her shoulder.  As she turned, she clenched her fists and readied herself to swing, but the face that met her eyes was not that of a gold-shouldered officer.

“Chakotay.” Kathryn said, disbelieving.  

He didn’t have a moment to respond as the guards overtook him.  Their phasers were too dangerous in the crowd, so the guards attempted to subdue Chakotay the old fashioned way. But they didn’t know how dangerous an angry boxer could be.  As Chakotay shoved one guard to the ground the other attempted to take him in a strangle hold from behind. Slipping out of his grip, Chakotay whirled around and planted a firm punch on his jaw.  The first guard was now halfway standing, and at the perfect angle for Chakotay to level him with a single right cross to the cheek.  Chakotay had deftly left both guards moaning and writhing on the ground.  

The assembled group of concertgoers were to stunned by the rare violent outburst to intercede, but they had begun to muster the courage to confront the brute who had dispatched the loyal ‘fleeters.  Before the crowd could turn on them, Chakotay grabbed Kathryn’s hand and asked her one question.

“Are you with me?’

She grinned into her simple reply. “Always.”


	8. Chapter 8

Kathryn and Chakotay darted around pedestrians, across courtyards, and down alleyways to evade their pursuers.  He hadn’t let go of her hand since gripping it in his. Finding a secluded backstreet, they tucked themselves behind an industrial refuse reclaimator and took a moment to catch their breath and collect their thoughts.  

“What are you doing here?” Kathryn questioned.  “You made it pretty clear that you wanted nothing to do with me.”

“What can I say? I guess I have a thing for bossy redheads.” came his reply.  Chakotay was fussing with a small item in his hands.  “Okay, Captain.  Where to?”

Kathryn looked at the object he was holding and instantly recognized the handiwork.  

“A site to site transporter.  B’Elanna made that for you, didn’t she?  I’d recognize her alignment of the displacement matrix anywhere.”

Chakotay nodded his head and smiled.  

“I’m sure there's a great story about how my drop-out Maquis engineer ended up wrapped in with Starfleet again.”

“She’s our chief engineer, and she’s the best. Thanks to you, Chakotay.” Kathryn continued and placed her hand on the familiar plane of his chest.  “I can’t properly thank you for helping me back there.” 

“Something tells me that under normal circumstances you don’t need anyone’s help.”  He grinned at her, and took her hand in his once again.

“Maybe sometimes it seems that way, but everyone needs someone.”  She could feel the heat of his touch warming her skin.  Chakotay’s grip tighten lightly as he parted his lips to speak, but he was cut off by the the sound of running footfalls and shouted orders.  He brought his focus back to the transporter and began entering a series of commands.

“Coordinates, Kathryn!”

“My office.  Science tower, level 6, section 24.”  In an instant, the familiar glimmer had enveloped them.  When the reappeared in her office, Kathryn headed straight for the workstation in the middle of the room.  

“We only have a few minutes until they identify the transport signature.” Chakotay urged.

“I just need to access my shuttle. We can recreate the accident that sent me here.” Kathryn said, pressing commands into the display.  

“And that will work?”

“It’s the only shot I’ve got.”

As the door swished open, two security guards entered, phasers drawn.

“Kathryn, we’ve got company.” He shouted to Kathryn, whose eyes were focused solely on her task.  Chakotay took aim and fired two beams, stunning one officer but missing the other who had dived out of the way.  After entering a last series of commands into the console, Kathryn grabbed the site to site transporter from Chakotay and programmed the shuttle’s coordinates.  As the beam whisked them away,  the guard fired his phaser, its yellow beam just entering the blue.

  
  
  


When they rematerialized on the shuttle, the first thing Kathryn knew was the sound of a pained and frustrated moan from Chakotay.  The phaser shot had just nicked his thigh as they let the office.  Kathryn rushed to his side, her fingers aching to touch him, to prove to herself that he was alright and to bring him comfort and help if he wasn’t.  

“Fly!” he shouted, pushing her away. “We don’t have long. I’m fine.” The blotch of red on his pant leg was blossoming and he needed her attention, however the security alert was blaring and the hangar doors were starting to close.  Kathryn scrambled to the helm and took an appraisal of the unfamiliar nano-wave controls.

“I need your help, Chakotay.  The enhanced thrusters will help us out-maneuver them while we’re still in atmo, but it looks like they take two to control.”  Kathryn crossed back to him and helped him stagger into the chair next to hers.  Bringing up the thruster control screens, she keyed in the commands to bring the nano-wave enhancements online. 

Together, in perfect sync, Chakotay and Kathryn maneuvered the shuttle past the security turrets and runabouts while evading phaser blasts like they were performing a tango.  Soon, they were at warp in open space, headed to the location of the time stream.   The cabin was quiet as Kathryn worked on her recreation of the accident, Chakotay at the helm.  Even though in her reality she’d known him for months, and had grown to trust him with her life, this Chakotay had just met her.  So why had he come back to help her?  With that thought, the comfortable silence of the shuttle became filled with unanswered questions. Just as she was gathering her nerve to ask them, he spoke.

“Kathryn, we’ve got a starhip bearing down.  Less than a minute to intercept.”

Bringing up the navigation controls, Kathryn saw that the time stream was quickly approaching.  

“We’ll make it.” she assured him.  I’ve got the parameters from my accident programmed.  Speed and polaron scan, as best as I can remember it. We should be good to go. Time stream impact in 4...3...2...1…”

Kathryn braced herself and closed her eyes, ready to reopen them in her own reality, but when she opened them, nothing had changed.

“What happened?”

As Chakotay brought them around for another pass at the stream, the ship rocked. They’d been hit by a phaser blast from the starship.  Chakotay returned fire, taking out the ship’s phaser bank.  

“Whatever shields we had are gone now, and we don’t have long before they re-arm.” Chakotay stated as his hands flew over the controls. “We’re losing anti-matter containment, and it looks like we’re headed for a core breach.”

As the shuttle neared the time stream, Kathryn racked her brain trying to figure out what she’d missed the first time.  Her memories of the accident felt so clear, even if they did get a bit muddled with her dream from that morning.  A dream that happened to be about the very man seated next to her.  In a flash, she had the answer.

“I need to transport off of the ship.”

Excuse me?  That’s suicide!”

“It’s the only way.” Kathryn said, rising and crossing to the back of the ship.  “Mark had said that I was muttering about an emergency transport in my sleep.  That has to be it.” 

Standing to join her, Chakotay winced as the muscles of his injured thigh pulled.  In reaction, Kathryn rushed to him, seeking both to comfort and support, just as he had done for her so many times. Placing her hand on his chest, she looked into his wide, star-filled eyes.  

“You asked me why I came to help you.” Chakotay said, placing his hand over hers, the warmth of his wide palm permeating her skin.  “This is why.  You touch me and my heart calms.  You speak, and my soul quiets.  You’re near me, and I feel peace.  I don’t know who you are, or who I am to you, but I do know that the other me must feel the same way.  You have to get home, and be his peace.”

Gazing at him, tears began to roll down Kathryn’s cheeks.  What could she possibly say to such a declaration?  Words seemed unsuitable.  Gliding her hand up his chest and behind his neck, Kathryn threaded her fingers through his soft hair.  Rising on tiptoe, she closed her eyes and pressed a soft kiss on his warm and waiting lips.  She could feel him inhale and begin to deepen the kiss when they were interrupted by the blare of a warning kalxon reverberating through the small cabin.  The computer indicated twenty seconds until core breach.  Pressing his forehead to hers, Chakotay rested his hands on Kathryn’s shoulders.

“You need to be home. He needs you home.”

Kathryn nodded.  _ Voyager  _ was her home.  In so many ways, she’d left her life on Earth behind.  As they approached the time stream, she stepped on to the transport pad.  As she vanished, she saw Chakotay pull the site to site transporter out of his pocket.  Activating it, he began to dematerialize as well.  Was he trying to follow her? To do so could corrupt her attempt to re-enter the stream.  Closing her eyes, Kathryn hoped she would know her surroundings when she reopened them.

She did.  She was seated at the helm of  _ Voyager’s  _ shuttlecraft  _ Drake _ .  Looking around the small cabin, she saw no sign of the other reality’s Chakotay.  Leaning back, she rubbed her forehead. As far into space as they were, there weren’t very many options for where he could have gone.  Either he had beamed himself into oblivion, or...or he was now resting in the brig of the starship.  Yes, Chakotay wouldn't be one to give up a fight, and turning himself in would be the best way to reclaim his life, and find his way to home, and peace.  If she gave him that realization, then the whole trip was worth it, if that reality even existed anymore.  

“ _ Voyager _ to shuttlecraft  _ Drake _ . Prepare for emergency transport.” Tuvok’s voice rang calmly over the shuttle’s comm.

“Janeway here.  Dropping shields.”  She entered the commands and allowed the beam to whisk away, back home. 

  
  
  


Later in ready room, after a once-over from the doctor and a review of the sensor logs from the time stream, Kathryn was faced with the daunting task of writing her mission log.  How many of her crew members would have traded almost anything for what she was given; the chance to start over with their loved ones?  And all that she had wanted was to find a way back to  _ Voyager _ , alone on the far side of existence.  It was more than that.  It was more than making sure Will Riker led the life he was supposed to.  It was more than fulfilling her obligation to the crew that she ha stranded.  It was more than any captain’s responsibility.  Kathryn needed to come home.  But this home was more than just grey bulkheads, transparent aluminum, and gel packs.  Home was him.  Home was Chakotay.  His warmth, his strength, his courage,  his loyalty, his passion, and a thousand other traits that made him so uniquely him. As if she’d called out for him, his voice rang over her combadge.  

“Chakotay to the captain.”

“I’m here, Commander.”

“Captain, from what you’ve said, you’ve covered a fair amount of distance over the last few days.  All the travel must have worn you out.  Can I fix you some dinner?”

Kathryn smiled and leaned her cheek on her hand, her pinky finger lightly tracing her bottom lip.  Blushing, she remembered what had last grazed her lips, and how exquisite it had been.  Realizing that she’d been in thoughtful silence for longer than normal, she stammed out her reply.

“Why...yes.  Thank you, Commander.  It’s been awhile since anyone other than Neelix had served me a homemade meal.”

“Well, Captain, my home is your home.  At least for the next seventy-something years.”

“In that case, I’ll be ‘home’ in fifteen minutes.”  

Standing up from her desk, Kathryn started on her way.  Maybe the other Chakotay was right.  She hoped he was.  She knew she had to find out.  If things ended how she well for them, there would surely be obstacles and conflicts and regulations to overcome. But in her heart, she knew it would be worth it.  She knew that after traveling across the universe and back, that if he could be her home, she would be his peace.

 

 

The End.


End file.
